The Finance Board’s decision to fund a Mosh Pit at the Hampton Reservoir has been temporarily postponed due to the threat of a law suit from a neighboring town.

Discussions on the possibility of an outdoor concert venue for the reservoir began last fall when a local grunge band appeared before the Inland, Wetlands & Watercourses Agency (and you thought their meetings sounded boring) to seek approval since the IWWA has jurisdiction over any activity that occurs close to the water. It was determine that, while those in attendance might harm one another, there’s really little harm to the environment, as long as participants pick up their own trash after the event.

The Finance Board was quick to approve funding for the proposal, citing minimal costs and enormous returns. The area provides plenty of space for not only pogoing and crowd surfing, but ample room for the Circle Pit and even the Wall of Death. No structures are necessary, and though parking might pose a problem, it’s assumed (albeit stereotypically) that many participants will arrive on motorcycles, and the proximity to the “Airline Trail” provides another use for that preserve as well. So eager was everyone to start the endeavor that “Vampire Weekend” was immediately signed for the first concert.

Plans stalled, however, after our neighbors to the north threatened a law suit. Though officials and attorneys representing the Town of Pomfret were reluctant to comment, apparently it’s the competition they object to. The only on-the-record remark: “It’ll kill our artisanal scone and afternoon tea business. Who can compete with that?”