Smoke Mirrors and Spotlights

Procrastination: The thief of happiness

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

With kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you be of good cheer

It’s the most wonderful tiiiiiiiicth (needle skips across the vinyl)

 

Sirens sing — are you listening?

Stovepipe glows — It’s surely glistening

Smoke fills the room – sad tidings and gloom

Living in the clogged chimney land.

 

On the roof there’s a clatter

It’s the fireman and his ladder

He comes without pay

Oh, what can you say?

He’s workin’ in his winter wonderland

 

The draft was poor – they surely knew it.

But they never quite got to it

Life is a tizzy – we’re always so busy

Livin’ in the clogged chimney laiiiiicth (needle skips across the vinyl)

 

Tomorrow.  Tomorrow.

There’s always tomorrow.

It’s only a fire away.

 

We have all had enough of the stifling heat, humidity and drought of this past summer. The temperatures are finally easing up. Autumn colors signal the change in season.  Nights bring a welcome chill to the air. You can almost hear the collective panting of local and imported Yankees in breathless anticipation of that first wood fire of the season. With the thermometer serving the same function of the tri-colored light at a drag strip, he watches: 52 deg – muscles begin to tense, 51 – heart beat elevates, 50 – poised, one eye on the match, one eye on the kindling, one eye on his neighbor’s chimney. 49! GO!

Hold your Chestnuts there Pilgrim. Santa gets a bit grouchy when he emerges with his fluffy red winter parka covered with soot and creosote and Rudolf’s nose is barely visible through the cloud of dense black smoke. Is your chimney clean? Is your wood properly seasoned?  Does your all-nighter make you feel proud and smart?  Do you want to avoid that rooftop clatter?

A few simple guidelines to help secure joy in your world and avoid having the silence of the night shattered by singing sirens:

Before firing up that trusty wood stove, clean, or have your chimney cleaned and inspected. If you burn a lot of wood and/or your wood is not fully seasoned you will want to clean your chimney frequently throughout the season.

Be sure your wood is dry.  On average, it takes about six months for wood to properly season after it is cut and split. If you buy your wood cut split and delivered be aware there is a high probability that it was cut and split within hours of being delivered. The tree may have been dropped, trimmed and lay log-length as much as a year ago. Some seasoning has occurred. Only once it is split and open to the air does proper seasoning take off. Unseasoned or poorly seasoned wood is the bringer of creosote to your chimney. Santa doesn’t like creosote or having his butt catch on fire when he’s trying to make his deliveries.

The all-night burn: Oh how that Yankee chest swells with pride and frugal wisdom when he throws on the last chunk of wood for the day and shuts that damper almost completely down. Brushing the dust from his hands and thighs, he stands himself up straight and tall, silently declares, “That should do it.”  Then turns around ready for his photo-op. Unless your wood is fully properly seasoned don’t even think about it. Unseasoned wood makes for smoky fires. Smoky fires increase creosote deposits on cooling chimneys. Just toss in that last chunk and let it burn. Put on some warm jammies and get a good night’s sleep. In the morning start a new fire and enjoy a steaming cup of java while the house heats up again.

Now here comes Santa Clause, right down Santa Clause lane. It’s Christmas morning. There are piles of pretty Christmas wrappings all over the living room floor. What better more convenient way to dispose of the mess than to toss it all in the stove and be mesmerized by the roaring flames. Nope. Nope. Nope. Creosote just loves those glowing little shreds of paper drifting up the chimney. There is a warm embrace, the sparks fly and the flames of love are ignited, followed by a disconcerting crackling roar, singing sirens and that clatter on the roof. The transfer station is prepared to handle those Christmas wrappings. Let them have it.

During the month of August members of Hampton Fire Company responded to 20 emergency dispatches, attended two training meetings, two admin meetings and spent four days parking cars at the Brooklyn  Fair. Six-hundred and thirty-five man-hours were logged. Meetings are held Wednesday evenings at 7.  New members are always welcome. No time?  You can also effortlessly support HFC when you shop on Amazon. Use Amazon Smile and select The Hampton Fire Co. Incorporated as the organization you wish to support. (Be sure it’s Hampton Ct)

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