Dear Auntie Mac,

Unlike last month’s young voter, I’m too old for the political activism of my youth, though I find myself in a similar circumstance. I’m old, I live alone, and when people say intolerable things, I find myself balancing a need to “do something” with a need to protect myself. Should I – keep my mouth shut, or open it? I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to die with any more regrets than I already have!
Any advice is appreciated,

Hippie in Spirit

My Dear Neighbor:

Several years ago, Auntie Mac met up with an elderly acquaintance who had just spent her 90th birthday at a March on Washington. She shook her head and said, “I marched for this fifty years ago; I didn’t think I’d have to do it again. But I did.” The look she gave me was one of disbelief and regret, but also of unwavering purpose.

It was clear she viewed her participation as not just an expression of her personal views but as a moral obligation that went far beyond her, and indeed into future generations. I daresay she had more chance of being trampled to death by thousands of her banner-wielding compatriots than you have of being harmed by voicing your objection to intolerable speech. Are you fearful that, living alone, you may be subject to physical attack should you speak out? Do these assumed threats come from within our town, or do you imagine some offended zealot in Western Somewhere finding out where you live and paying you a visit? Based on the picture you paint, Auntie Mac wonders what polarizing and razor-sharp retort you have hidden up your sleeve that you dare not unleash on the unsuspecting public, for fear of damage to your person. Could you not, then, for your own peace of mind, consent to a happy medium–somewhere between hiding under the sofa and raining hellfire down on those with whom you differ? Perhaps, if this is to be an in-person exchange, you might start with something like, “Excuse me, but I find that the way you’re speaking about X is completely unwarranted and nothing more than name-calling. Please don’t do so in front of me.” If you are considering letters to the editor or other written expression, on the other hand, a measured, diplomatic and fact-filled response is in no way capitulating to name-callers and conspiracy-peddlers. It is simply ignoring what is unimportant–or, at least positing the unimportance or uselessness of the “intolerable” remark and then moving on to a discussion of ideology, policies, track records, etc. It is not up to you to respond one-against-one to someone’s boorish posturing. That makes no sense and wastes everyone’s time. You simply mention that baseless claims and willful ignorance have no place in civil conversations, and proceed to outline which points you wish to make.

Auntie Mac does so hope you do have points to make, dear, and are not merely appalled at the current state of discourse in our country and want to say “Now, cut that out!” without experiencing a round of buckshot through the curtains.

As I have said before, and as you know, in your heart of hearts, whatever your views are, you are not alone. Respect your convictions. As my elderly acquaintance (or the philosopher Hillel) might say, “If not you, who? If not now, when?”

Your Auntie Mac