Dearest Auntie,

Now that Covid restrictions are lifting and we are slowly returning to social life (and under the charming influence of Bridgerton) might I suggest a monthly society column in our town newspaper, our own version of Lady Whistledown? I thought perhaps you, or one of your relatives or friends, could consider pursuing this possibility.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

My Dear Neighbor:

Auntie Mac continues to be extremely flattered and pleasantly bewildered at the range and scope of Hamptonian tidbits her readers believe her to have hoarded away. She will, however, admit to being a regular invitee at the sorts of soirees, family events, and galas that so temptingly lend themselves to an occasionally indiscreet mention in a less-than-proper Society column. She recalls fondly, for example, a themed affair long ago in Reykjavik attended by several crowned heads of northern Europe, and, having opted to use the hostess’ powder room instead of the carved ice bidet, chanced upon an interaction between an internationally-recognized Duke and a parking valet and former reindeer herder that, under the circumstances, would have limited the Duke’s invitations to that summer’s Monte Carlo regatta, and certainly revoked the valet’s Certificate of Merit from the ASPCA.

My point—I assume, since my points these days seem elusive as Will o’ the Wisps—is that although Auntie Mac does hold to her bosom some of the more, shall we say, colorful town anecdotes past and present, it behooves her to let sleeping rumors lie, however delicious they may be. We remember, do we not, the scenes in which the Queen eagerly awaits the latest edition of the Bridgerton Tattler, or whatever it’s called, and she is, depending on its content, either smugly satisfied, or vexed to the point of vengeance. Far be it from Self to wish any type of repercussion caused by sharing whispered suppositions, subtle innuendos, or shadowy goings-on.

She will gladly, however, entertain the idea of publishing any and all Hampton Society News in alternate months, in the format reflecting the more genteel style of current media columns. She is not certain, but she feels reasonably confident that she will be able to rise to the level of self-satisfied preening that marks what would surely become her inferior competitors.

I therefore invite you, dear, and all who are interested, to submit society news to the Gazette, and Auntie Mac will attempt to do justice to engagements, birthday fetes, gallant achievements, and the birth of prize livestock—all worthy of celebration. She is, after all, YOUR Auntie Mac, and lives to fulfill your wishes.